Chrolophyll Destiny Desiring

by Robert Vivian

The way to secret is listening, the way to secret is sound and late at night someone calling from far away and someone who becomes that far away in sonic incarnation, overcoat and flowing scarf or dressed in rags and howling pure vibrations thrumming the very air and way to secret is going into woods slowly, quietly, making each step a hush of its own and the spongy moss beneath and how it breathes a beautiful greenness, secret unto itself and secret as a way to live more vibrantly, color, color, green, green, and chlorophyll destiny desiring, which is the sacred title of us all, chlorophyll my ink of home seeping out in all green things and way to secret is sighing and hearing oneself sigh act of sere and threadbare praise, oh, the lifting music in it and little updraft of wind light enough to fly a bird or drift a leaf or feather, temple of breathing whose gates are your slightly parted lips and the taste of ever after mixed with mortality, the numbered days, the earth calling out to you, to me, to all the feckless wanderers who love who and what they love because they can’t help it and this same helplessness most moving secret of all opening out on to vistas of vulnerability and horizons filled with nothing but distance and seeing and secret inside a secret, the holy word and fish and both born of water and heir to purity and to clearness, the kind of seeing that does not end, the kind of trembling that happens when the gratitude rises like spring water out of the ground and I a river becoming or braid of stream as my eyes and bones give way to water and secret swallows me and sweeps me away down to the mouth of another river, another emptying out and the beautiful silence and vastness waiting for me there, the secret of a depth beyond all knowing where greenness knows it name.

Robert Vivian has published four novels and two books of essays. He teaches at Vermont College.